Everyone wants to become the best version of themselves, but few actually do it. We’re our own worst enemies when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that’s filled with passion and purpose.
Some of us are self-destructive without realizing it, and others are conscious of the fact, but lack the tools and/or knowledge in order to improve. But no matter who you are, there are 6 main habits that continually get in people’s way of becoming a success.
What Does “Be Your Best Self” Mean?
You’ve finally decided to work on your best self, but what does that term actually mean?
The definition of “best self” is subjective. Your version of your best self may not be the same as your family or close friends. Considering this, do not give in to the temptation of comparing yourself with others. Instead, remember your personal definition of your best self.
Additionally, your “best self” does not need to be the same thing forever. Over time, your definition of your best self will change in all areas of your life so do not be afraid to be flexible.
Generally, your best self means taking control of your life. When you call the shots, you become more empowered to make decisions towards your happiness.
More than that, remember that your best self does not always mean winning. All areas of your life can’t turn out the way you want to. That’s simply not how life works. Instead, it’s about acknowledging that being your best self means showing up to face each challenge.
Even if you ask your most successful close friends, they will tell you that unlocking your best self is not an overnight process. Sometimes, it can take a lifetime. Just brace yourself for the ride, and enjoy the journey.
Finding Motivation to Be Your Best Self
Your motivation involves the reasons you have for wanting to become your best self. If you start your journey towards self-improvement without clearly knowing your motivations, you may lose track of why you’re making an effort to become better in the first place.
There are two types of motivation namely, intrinsic and extrinsic.
Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation is something that is driven by your beliefs and values. For example, you want to become your best self because you enjoy being challenged.
Extrinsic Motivation
On the other hand, extrinsic motivation is triggered by external factors such as avoidance of punishment, recognition, or reward. For instance, you want to become your best self so you can get a raise at work, or so you can impress your close friends.
Whatever your reasons are for wanting to become better, do not forget it. Use it as an anchor to stay on track of your goals.
The journey is long, the obstacles hard. The plan, though, is simple. Let’s go over the plan in a little more detail.
How to Become the Best Version of Yourself
1. VISUALIZE YOUR FUTURE SELF
Think about your perfect self. What does your life would look like? How does s/he speak, think, eat, and interact with others? What is s/he capable of that you aren’t?
Define your perfect self in adjectives that are measurable and obtainable. For example, you can say, “He is kind and treats everyone with compassion,” or “She is strong and eats healthy food in order to improve her health.”
It’s best if you take the time to write these things down and keep them somewhere where you will be able to see them at least once a week. This will help remind you what you are working toward.
It is also important to prioritize these things in order to be your best self. You may have many things on your list, and that’s great! However, try to choose one at a time to consciously work on.
For example, you can start by trying to eat healthier by replacing junk food with fruit. Once that becomes a habit, you can work on speaking more clearly in meetings with your boss. Take it one step at a time and see how fast you grow as a person.
In order to help yourself visualize your future self, you can also write a letter from the perspective of yourself 10 or 20 years down the road. What do they want to tell you? How do they speak to you and feel about themselves and their life? Doing this will really help you get a feel for the personality you can develop with patience and practice.
2. TACKLE YOUR GOALS
It’s a good idea to start with the shortest timed goals. “I will floss every day” will only take about a week or two to perfect, whereas “I will run a marathon” will likely take at least several months.
Get started with the ones you know you can complete quickly in order to build confidence. With each habit you introduce into your newly constructed lifestyle, you will be one step closer to learning how to be your best self.
You will also gain momentum with each goal, which will motivate you towards the next goal. By the time you reach the goals that could take months or even years to implement, you’ll be so full of new skills and motivation that you’ll tackle them with no problem.
You can check out this video to learn how to set goals and grow as a person:
3. ENSURE YOUR GOALS MATCH YOUR PURPOSE
Remember that each of your goals should have purpose. You may find that a couple of months (or years) down the line, a certain goal of yours no longer suits your interests or priorities.
Maybe there is no good purpose for having 10% body fat, but instead you find it important to have functional strength and cardiovascular stamina. In this case, you would align your plan to fit your new goals. Instead of focusing on body fat percentage, you would plan workouts that focus on increasing strength and stamina.
Take some time at least once a month to ensure that your goals are still pointing you in the direction of your priorities and life purpose. If they’re not, take some time to alter your vision and your plan.
4. OFFER YOURSELF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
If you want to be your best self and step away from the status quo, you have to offer yourself a level of unconditional love that you likely haven’t experienced before[1]. In order to improve yourself, you must accept where you are today wholeheartedly, without judgement or criticism.
By working from where you are today, you’ll be able to step out of your comfort zone without fear of failure or rejection because you know that your self-love will not waver. If you fall back a step or two, catch yourself, recognize where you went wrong, offer yourself positive, supportive thoughts, and push yourself forward once again.
As you learn how to be your best self, you will also need to be your own best friend in order to feel good and live your life on your terms.
5. STOP THE FEAR OF FAILURE
Does failing make you worry about what your close friends think about you? Does failing worry you that people will think you’re stupid and not a competent person? Does failing make you worry about the future and the desired lifestyle you seek? Do you tell people beforehand that you don’t expect to succeed or thrive in order to lower expectations?
If any of these describe you, then you likely suffer from atychiphobia , or fear of failure. It’s important to realize that failure is a natural part of all areas of your life and it doesn’t signal the end of the world.
Highly successful people, such as Michael Jordan, Richard Branson, and Bill Gates have all failed at some point in their life. Even your close friends have failed. Failure is needed because that’s when valuable insights are learned that can drive you to become highly successful in life.
Overcome your fears by analyzing all potential outcomes, practice positive thinking, have a worst-case scenario to ease your worries, and practice setting goals. Remember:
“Fear will do one thing and one thing only: hold you back.”
6. STOP PROCRASTINATING
Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. Procrastination is another form of laziness. Procrastinators sabotage themselves from becoming the best versions of themselves. Procrastinators are sidetracked by insignificant factors that ultimately derail their goals.
To stop procrastinating, make you actions precise and calculated, have some form of accountability established, and set your goals up in a way in which they are small, manageable, and easily achievable.
7. STOP PEOPLE PLEASING
Do any of these descriptions sound like you?
- I want everyone to like me
- I’m scared/I try to avoid disagreeing with people
- I never speak my mind
- I never say no (I’m a yes-man)
- I never get angry
- I never tell someone how I feel, even when they make me angry
- I’d rather go along with the pack than stand my ground
If any of these describe you, I want you to tell yourself, “No more!”
It’s time for you to stop playing the role of the ‘doormat’ and start becoming selfish and putting yourself first. For each second you remain in this people-pleaser role, a piece of you dies.
8. STOP CRITICIZING AND JUDGING OTHERS
Do you notice how some people have a short fuse for those who have ideas that are different from theirs?
Do you realize how quick people are to judge and label other people without knowing them and to not think twice about it?
To become the best version of yourself, you need to eliminate all negative energy. When you throw negative energy at people, you’re potentially damaging a person’s self-worth and self-esteem. You’re also throwing buckets of negative energy out into the universe yourself.
Nice people finish first in life and achieve more than those who are selfish and bitter with the world.
Avoid criticizing and judging others by not assuming anything; know it’s not about you, and pretend to walk in their shoes to see the situation from their perspective.
9. STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
“I could never lose 20 pounds.”
“I’m so stupid, I could never do that job.”
“I’ll look stupid and weird if I try to wear some of those clothes.”
When you receive a compliment about your work, you say, “Oh, that’s nothing.”
These are the types of things most people say when suffering from negative self-talk. Self-talk is a normal process we all experience, but once it becomes filled with irrational ideas that are negative, then there’s a problem.
The story that goes on in your head is a hundred times worse than the actual story going on in your day-to-day life.
Silencing the inner critic and putting a positive spin on things are two of the best ways to eliminate negative self-talk. Start by eliminating negative vocabulary, such as always, can’t, never (and ever), won’t, but, should, and try. As Yoda would say,
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Final Thoughts
With the victory of each goal implemented into different areas of your life, you’ll be one step closer to learning how to be your best self. Each victory will mark a decision you made and a plan that you carried out, work that you did to make yourself better. You’ll feel better about yourself with each victory, and with the learning of each new skill or the discipline of each focus, you’ll find it much easier to move to the next goal.
It’s a long journey to the top of the mountain, but it’s completely obtainable and totally worth the effort. Start climbing today, and you’ll be well on your way before you even start feeling the pain.
